“I can not wait to turn 13 so I can watch PG-13 movies!”
“I can not wait to turn 16 so I can have a big Sweet 16, and that means I’ll be almost 18”
“I can not wait to turn 18 so I can finally be legal, vote, drive without my parents, & go to the club.. I’m technically grown now..right?”
“I can not wait to turn 21 so I can finally buy a drink legally..and lets face it, 21 sounds so much better than 20”
” I don’t think I’m ready to turn 25″
If you know me, you know that I LOVE to celebrate Birthdays with a passion. You only get one day out of the year so you might as well enjoy it right? Well for my 25th Birthday, the feeling has been a bit different. Anxiety has hit me hard over the last few weeks leading up to my 25th Birthday. Why? Who even knows! To me that is just another step closer to 30 lol, and a reason for me to really start to examining my life, accomplishments, failures, and so much more. But I can truly say, I am proud of the woman God is transforming me to be. I have been through some things where I can only look back and shake my head, because I know it was only God who saw me through. I have experienced countless heartbreaks, and then I’ve also experienced thinking I’ve possibly found “the one”. I’ve gone through many trials and errors regarding school, but here I am in Pharmacy School. I am not the young shy girl anymore who holds everything in and doesnt speak her mind, I now take the lead and stand up for what I believe in. Everyday is a learning process for me. I don’t have it all quite figured out, but I am willing to share what I know thus far. I’ve learned to tell myself when something bad is happening, this is only God adding another testimony in my life, so I can share and help someone else get through their struggle. Even though I have been reflecting for some years now, here are the top 10 things that I wanted to speak on about turning 25 and moving into another phase in my life. Enjoy !
TOP 10 LIST:
1.Without God, I am nothing. This really hits close to home. When you are younger, your parents force you to go to church, so it is a chore so you basically tune out anything that is going on. But as I am getting older, I am realizing I am truly nothing without God. I know I am not perfect, but I do strive everyday to become a better person for myself and those around me. I have learned to thank God in advance because I know he has magnificent things planned for me. You can’t just run to God when you want something. It is so important to develop that relationship with him for yourself. No human relationship can compare to the relationship and love that you will experience with him.
2.STOP Stressing! And let things flow.. sometimes. I used to stress myself out so bad I would get sick. But I’ve learned over time, some things are just not in our control. And if it is, put your 100% in it, so if it doesn’t work out you know you truly gave your best. And let things flow.. sometimes, and I mean sometimes lol. All of my friends know me as the “organizer”. I plan my week out, the day specifically and even months ahead if I can. While it is good to be organized, sometimes it is ok to do something spontaneous and live in the moment.. which is something I am still learning.
3.Social Media is NOT your friend. There are many positive and negative things I can say about social media, but I will say this much. Be careful how you use it. Don’t spend countless hours scrolling up and down your timeline looking and comparing your life to others. I used to do that, and I’m sure some people look at my page all the time and think I have it all together. Remember most people will only post the good things in their life, not the bad, so you have no clue what is going on behind closed doors. I’ve also learned some things are better left unsaid. And the older we get, the more things are valuable to us. Don’t post things you know you will regret that will make you lose a job or future position, or a long lasting friendship because you decided to vent and trash someone because of one argument.
4.Being Single is NOT a disease. In a Nigerian household when you are younger, dating is basically forbidden, but then when you turn 25, your parents start asking you, ” Where is your husband”? And if you don’t get that pressure from them or your aunts and uncles, then you will certainly feel it from your friends when one by one they start to get engaged. I can say since January 2016 at least 5 of my close friends/family have gotten engaged. And it had me thinking.. oh boy, did I miss the memo? It’s been a while since I have been in a serious relationship, and now that I am in Pharmacy School where you basically have ZERO time for anything, I can’t help but to think when will it be my time. I have never been one to compare relationships, because Lord know’s I’ve seen the good, the bad, & the ugly. But who doesn’t want someone to call their own. And if there is an old relationship you are holding on to because you’re thinking.. ” I don’t know if I’ll find better” or ” We were together 4+ years, it has to work” its time to let go. Look if anyone wants you male or female they will put in work. Relationships are not easy but it shouldn’t be a struggle. I’ve learned to close my eyes and let go of certain situations so God can open the door for better ones. It’s not easy, but its something that has to be done.
5.Some things are better kept to yourself/ Smaller circle. I’ve learned not everyone will understand my way of thinking. Not everyone will understand my sarcasm sometimes. And that is ok. Not everyone you think is in your corner is really cheering for you. They are just waiting for one bad thing to happen so they can say ” I don’t even know why you tried”. Or they use what you told them in confidence against you. You need people in your corner that will elevate you, motivate you, cheer you on, pray for you, and let you know when you made a mistake. Not someone who constantly tears you down out of spite and low self esteem. And honestly I know a lot of people, but I can count on one hand the people who are truly my friends. They are the main people that stay in my text log. I can contact them any time of the day, and they will answer. It’s ok to not have a million friends- thats how things get messy anyway.
6.Being Healthy is the new Fix! If I knew back then what I know now.. man oh man. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is not easy, especially if you are always on the go, but it is so worth it! I’ve learned you make time for what you want to make time for. My weight fluctuates like there is no tomorrow. I lose and gain weight very easily. Working out is nothing to me, its all about my diet. I am still a work in progress, but I am happy about the progress I am slowly making to be back to where I need to be, especially while being in pharmacy school with long days and late nights of studying. So if you are constantly battling with your weight.. DON’T GIVE UP! The world is at your hands! Make attainable goals for you to meet weekly and/or montly and slowly develop it into a lifestyle, and not a diet.
7.If you don’t have a PASSPORT.. GET ONE! I have been fortunate enough to have parents who have introduced me to the world of traveling at a very young age. Planning trips are not as stressful and costly as people try to make it. I promise there is always a deal, you just have to be on the lookout for it. Write down 2-3 places that you would love to travel to in 2017. You can start out in the U.S and then make your way to International trips. Trust me, one of the best investments you’ll ever make!
8.You start to realize that your parents truly only want the best for you. I always say I have a different breed of Nigerian parents. They are strict, but very understanding. Growing up there are some things my parents used to say and I used to think, ” They have no clue what they are talking about”. Well let me say everything they have said, has come to pass lol so they might know something. My parents truly only what the best for myself and my brothers. They don’t want us to go through the struggles they endured, especially living in America where everything is at our fingertips. I talk to my parents literally everyday now, and my only hope is that I can somewhat pay them back for all that they have done for me.
9.Staying at home is not so bad after all. I love to travel and experience new things. But I have a new appreciation of just staying at home. It’s ok to not go out every weekend. It’s ok that you are not in attendance to every party or club. Sometimes it’s just good to be at home and catch up on sleep. Or come up with new dishes to cook in the kitchen. Learn to appreciate the art of staying home. Decorate your home in a way you’ll always want to be there .
10.Forgiveness. It is so easy to hold a grudge against someone because they have caused so much hurt in your life. But many times I had to learn to just apologize to myself for that person in my head just so I can move on. Sometimes we won’t get that apology we are looking for, but we have to learn to just forgive that person. And life is so short. We don’t know when our last day is. Try to end your last conversations with people on a good note so you don’t regret it later.
There is so much I could say, but I think these key points sum up where I am in my life right now. I am beyond blessed and I thank God for keeping me healthy and alive to see the age of 25. Thank you so much for all the Birthday Wishes & Blessings. I pray God continues to guide & protect you and bless you all abundantly!
Thanks for reading !
3 thoughts on “I’m Turning 25… Now What?”
Ogechi this such a beautiful insight and outlook on life. I gradually began to learn this after I turned 25. It’s amazing you have come to such realization. May God continue to give you the wisdom to inspire others for His Good. Keep it up boo! It’s awesome you’re able to keep this up while in school kudos!!
Thank you so much for reading ! Love you !
Absolutely beautiful inside and out!!!