True Life: I’m a “Hookah Head” either grab a tip or mind your business

Hookah, also known as “Shisha”, dates back to the 15th century, as a gesture or activity known to bring friends together to pass a hose around and take puffs of smoke flavored tobacco from a water pipe in multiple rotations. Some people use this as a form of relaxation, while others use it as another method to escape from their current problems, and some just do it because others are doing it, and they have nothing better to do ( *African accent “follow follow” lol). This growing phenomenon can take place in a lounge, hookah shop, or even in the comfort of your own home.

Now.. what is a Hookah head you ask? Well before we move any further let me just put a disclaimer out there that NO I am not apart of the Hookah Head association, and that is a personal choice. I’m sure those that know me are even surprised I wrote an article about it. But I have been dragged to hookah lounges many many many times or been around it .. so here we are lol. I tried it once and learned quickly that life isn’t for me. Now I don’t look down at others who do… just don’t blow it in my face..please (pet peeve). Even though I don’t smoke hookah it seems as though the rest of the world does, especially in my city  “Atlanta”. Some of them need your prayers because the addiction is real lol. If there is no hookah present at your event, kickback or club consider it a dub. So being a witness to the side here are a few things I have noticed over the years (correct me if I’m wrong or add to the list below).

Hookah Head: simply can be defined as,  “A person who can not go a few days without it. A person who has their own personal hookah collection in their house. A person who becomes super creative when a part goes missing and that hookah must still be smoked at that moment. A person who would rather smoke hookah than eat. A person who looks for hookah spots while on vacation (no days off). A person who knows the best hookah flavors to mix. A person who secretly judges you in their mind when you tell them you don’t smoke hookah when they try to pass it to you.” I could go on and on, but I think you get the gist.

According to BuzzFeed, if you can relate to any of the scenarios below then Congratulations, you are obsessed with smoking Hookah.

  1. You have a memorized map of all the hookah lounges in your town.

  2. Double-pipe shishas save you and your friends a whole lot of arguing.

  3. You keep finding random tip covers in pockets/purse/laundry/everywhere.

  4. You have a specific hookah crew.

  5. Nothing beats the feeling of that first, clean drag… 

  6. Your furniture and carpets invariably have coal-shaped burn marks and holes

  7. Your heart sinks so fast when you get home with a craving, and realize you’re out of flavor or out of coal

  8. You try to get away with the “I JUST got it!” excuse to hold onto it, even though you’ve had it for 20 minutes.–

    But shamelessly call out anyone else who does the same.

  9. When you smoke more than once in the same day and guilt consumes you. As well as a headache.

  10. If someone you know is traveling to the Middle East, you have them bring you back some of the good stuff.

Again I am NO EXPERT …BUT I can’t help but notice that there are A LOT of rules when it comes to smoking hookah. So below is a Hookah Etiquette 101 guide from what I have witnessed over the years ( Feel free to add to list below)

Hookah Etiquette 101 : 

  1. The first thing to understand and consider is what some call “house rules”. This is the most important one to remember. If you’re at your friend’s house and he or she has a set of rules, follow them.  If you’re in another country, know their customs and traditions. You never want to offend your hosts.
  2. Try to pick a flavor that the group likes.. don’t be selfish or get your own personal one
  3. Usually, the person who sets up the hookah gets to smoke first in the rotation, or the one who pays for it.
  4. Don’t break the Rotation. Rotation is always CLOCKWISE (meaning – if you’re in a circle, it is your turn when the person on your right has completed their turn and placed the hose down).
  5. Keep the Pace up-You should enjoy yourself and take time to enjoy the smoke but then pass the hose to the next person in a timely manner.
  6. If you do pass it to someone, always angle the end of the hose with the mouth tip away from the person you’re giving it to.
  7. Please don’t drool on the hose. Your drool will get in the hose. That drool will then get in the next person’s mouth.
  8. Don’t let the mouthpiece touch the ground.
  9. Never share your plastic mouthpiece with another person, as it does not promote good hygiene.
  10. Be mindful not to blow smoke into another person’s face  (unless they don’t mind).
  11. Don’t Kill the VIBE…PERIOD!
  12. Bonus: Don’t just assume people want you to join their hookah rotation, ask first before you pick up a tip.
  13. Extra Bonus: If you accidentally knock down coal… PICK IT UP with tongs.. don’t just stare at it

What’s your Hookah title? Check out these two videos below to see which one fits you 

  1. The Hogger 
  2. The one obsessed with making sure there’s enough coal 
  3. The Slobber
  4. The Social media hookah smoker 
  5. The Expert
  6. The Cougher 
  7. The Pothead 
  8. The Newbie 

Even if you love hookah, just pace yourself. Be aware of the risk factors that come associated with it, and listen to how your body reacts to it.

As Always…Thanks for Reading!

-Madam Koverage

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *