Question: Hello Madam Koverage. I have been dating my boyfriend on and off for a long time. We grew up together and were high school sweethearts. We broke up for two years in college, but got back together during our Senior Year. Fast forward four years later and I believe we are at a very good place in our relationship. I am ready to take that next step, but when I bring the topic of marriage, he always changes the subject. I can’t force anyone to marry me, and I don’t want to. We don’t have any kids together so if I wanted to walk away it wouldn’t be as hard, but my heart is with him. What should I do, stick around and see if he will eventually have a change of heart or leave and find someone who is ready to actually settle down?
Answer: Well let me just say that unfortunately you are not the only person in this type of situation. There are thousands of people who struggle with the same problem. It is hard to let go of something you have literally known forever, trust me I know. Its hard to leave your comfort zone, and you don’t want to feel like you wasted time, but you didn’t. You and your boyfriend grew up together, so you know exactly who and what you are dealing with. If you plan to walk away, don’t look at it as a loss, but a learning lesson. I’m sure he is a great guy, but it doesn’t take a man years and years to figure out if he wants to get married or who he wants to get married to. Like you said, you don’t have children together so it will be easier to walk away. I can not make a final decision for you, you have to do that yourself. Are you willing to stay and risk your chances of getting married, or will you walk away to find someone who is ready to be committed to you officially? Good luck!