Question: Hello Madam Koverage. Long story short, I have fallen in love with my best friend’s ex. They broke up three years ago but we remained friends. Initially we really were just friends, and one day things just turned for the better, and the rest is history. We have been dating now eight months and I can say I am in love with him. We want to make our relationship public, but nervous about what everyone will say including my best friend. My best friend actually has moved on, and is in a new relationship and from what I know, her boyfriend will be proposing soon. What should I do? Break off the relationship or stay with him hoping that my best friend will understand since she is happy in a new relationship?
Answer: Wow interesting story. First off I will say that I hope you know either decision you choose, you will most likely be losing someone you care about. This is a very sticky and messy situation. You went behind your best friends back, and “accidentally” fell in love with her ex from three years ago. Clearly they were not meant to be, and I’m sure you know of everything they went through. So why would you cross that line and explore it yourself. You can’t help who you fall in love with sometimes, but it could have been prevented if you kept the friendship at a distance when your best friend and the guy went their separate ways. Any foundation for any relationship should not be based off lies, and betrayal. Because you said ” one day things just turned for the better”, have you been secretly trying to get him while your friend was with him? Either way its not a good look. So I hope it was worth it. Fast forward to three years later, she is now very happy in another relationship and about to be a wife, so what should you do? You have to figure out which is more important, friend or “love”. She has moved on so she may forgive you, but it will definitely take her time, so don’t be mad if she decides to ignore you for a while. Good luck on whatever decision you decide to choose.