Question: Hello Madam Koverage, I need some advice on how to solve this situation. I am 26 years old, and I am a female who is in a committed relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for about two years. Recently I just got offered a job that would locate me to another state… Which is 6 hours from where I live now. My boyfriend is not being as supportive, so I am confused on what to do. Choose love or my future? This is a great opportunity but I really do see him being my husband and I’ll be 27 soon so I don’t want have to go through the process of trying to date again. Please help. Thanks
Answer: Hey love, I really don’t have much to say but.. ” GO AFTER YOUR DREAM JOB!”. I know what you are thinking, ” I am almost 30 years old, I can’t possibly start over”.. but you may just have to. If your boyfriend of two years is not supportive of you advancing your career, are you sure this is a man you want to keep in your life, to potentially be your husband? Life is too short to not go after our goals. You are only 6 hours away.. not 12 or residing in another country, so you can most definitely make it work. I pray he turns around, and is there supporting you, but just know you may be moving to your dream job soon with the status SINGLE attached to your name. Good Luck!
@chuckdelmont: Personally, I would pursue the opportunity as long as it’s a progressive or upward opportunity in my career. If they want to make it work, they’ll find a way to make that happen. I wouldn’t tether myself to someone who has mixed feelings about me moving away for a chance to advance my career. That’s a opportunity that might not come back around.
@kvris.mvdison: Exactly.I was going to write pretty much the same thing. If he wants to make it work badly enough, they’ll be fine. I’m curious to know what’s holding him back from moving with her. Bomb job himself or friends/family?
@_phearless: In a relationship, you have to compromise. If you two are dating on a level that leads to marriage, then you pursuing your career shouldn’t be an issue. If he doesn’t want to lose you & wants to make the relationship last, arrangements can be made for you two to see each other as a long distance couple. Don’t make the mistake of missing out on a great opportunity because your man won’t support you. He should be supportive in the first place, not selfish.
@faithohanu: Everyone has said the correct thing. Her future comes first. My mentor had the same situation where she had to move for her job and she told her boyfriend (at that time) that she was leaving to come to Atlanta for work. She did not wait for him because her future was more important. A couple weeks later he called her and said he was moving down to Atlanta. They have now been married for 17 years. Pursue your future first before anything else. What is meant to be will be.
@copaceticmike: If they are going to be together she would take the opportunity and he would understand,especially if it contributes to her long term development and growth then it could potentially be good for them both. In relationships , ppl compromise and make sacrifices, you just have to find a way to make things work though it may not be in a way preferential to both parties. It’s important to remember that that scenario isn’t a permanent one and In situations like that , the strength of the relationship will be tested, but if it’s meant to be; he will understand and they will prevail.
@princessempea: Take the job.
@naijapeach1st She needs to pursue the job opportunity, bc such opportunities don’t always come twice. This may be a blessing in disguise. Not to mention, but these are her primetime years to enjoy life carefree & stressfree. 2nd) If he’s willing to continue their relationship, nothing will keep him from hopping on a plane, train, bus, ship, etc. Lastly, if their relationship doesn’t last then he isn’t the man God intended for her to be with. And let’s be real, Gucci Mane said it best, “[Boys] are like buses, miss one next 15 one coming!”
@missiwuh: I will personal take the job.Distances doesn’t define a relationship people do. I would never give up opportunity to develop and grow in my field.