IMG_3720“We’re engaged”…

“I’m getting married”….

“I said YES! “….

Are just a few status updates along with the picture of the ring, I now see daily on my Facebook Feed or Instagram timeline. Now don’t get  me wrong, I am a sucker  for love, but I really do question the intentions of some people. Are you   truly ready to make that commitment and join as one in marriage or are   you more concerned about changing your status on Facebook or colors of the wedding? It’s like if you aren’t getting married  right now after dating someone for 3 months, something is wrong with you. But nothing is wrong with you. And let me just say, if you find your soul mate in 3 months, kudos to you, but that is not realistic for everyone.

In 2015 I don’t think marriage is as sacred as it used to be years ago. Just because all your friends are getting hitched, doesn’t mean you have to jump the broom as well. And ladies, stop getting so desperate to the point where you are losing your morals for a ring. And men can you stop giving these women false hope and buying time with a promise ring. Now I know I probably just gained a few enemies saying that, but that is fine. I think a promise ring is completely stupid. The idea behind it is very thoughtful, but to me a waste of time and money. I feel like that money spent can go into the actual engagement ring. There is nothing special about it, because at the end of the day, you are still a girlfriend, NOT FIANCE. Technically if you are dating someone, you see them in your future, so that is already the “pre-engagement process” so no need to add another process to the cycle. Then there are people who have a  “pre engagement ” photo shoot session, but are not  engaged. Now I understand it once you are engaged, but if you aren’t , I’m sorry to break your heart, but they are just regular pictures. Focus on what is really important. Re-evaluate the priorities in your relationship, and don’t get so consumed with the hoopla of having a picture to post, when you should be building a firm foundation for the marriage. Don’t be so consumed about being featured on a wedding page, or having a viral proposal video, or over 500+ likes to an engagement picture. That is all nice, but at the right time. So stop rushing your relationship just for show. Weddings are beautiful but expensive. Please don’t go broke trying to impress people and followers around world, to show you had the best wedding known to man. Do what you can afford, because you don’t want the cost to affect the beginning stages of your marriage. There are a lot of people years into their marriage, still paying for their wedding, and I’m sure you do not want to be one of them.

Before you jump the broom, are you at the point in your life, where you have achieved most of your goals, and are able to provide a stable life for yourself? Or are you willing to put all that on hold, just to say you have someone in your life? Both are attainable, so don’t sell yourself short. Marriage should be a onetime thing, but of course things happen. But knowing there’s an option for divorce, people are less likely to fight for their marriage. The domino effect of celebrities getting married and then divorced within a few years shows that people don’t take marriage serious anymore. Although I am single, and not married, I thought this was a very important issue to address. If you are not married, take this time to perfect the best you possible before that time comes. Because once those vows are said, there’s no turning back (technically) and you’ll be there until “death do you part” from your mate. Since I am not married, I got some insight from a few married couples, young and old on having a successful marriage, so here are a few tips they shared with me.

Tips to having a successful marriage:

  1. Marry your best friend. If you have to get out of bed each day to speak to your best friend, you married the wrong person.
  2. Learn how to pick your battles. Not everything is worth an argument. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and move on.
  3. Communication is EVERYTHING. Whether it be verbally, mentally, physically, or emotionally. You have to be able to communicate and relate to your partner.
  4. Just because you have kids, doesn’t mean the flame has to stop. Plan monthly dates for a weekend getaway for you and your spouse. Even if it’s a hotel in your city, just get away and enjoy your time together. Or weekly dates as well.
  5. Keep your business in the house. Some things are not meant to be said out in the public, or to have public opinion, so try and sit down and figure it out together.
  6. Sex shouldn’t get old. Find ways to spice it up with your spouse.
  7. Appreciate the small things. Everything counts, big or small.
  8. Take care of your appearance. Of course you may not dress up every day, but don’t start slacking and start looking not presentable every single day.
  9. Even in the worse times, don’t say something that you can’t take back. You may apologize, but hurtful words are hard to forget.
  10. The best one is saved for last. A family that prays together, stays together. Keep GOD first! Make him the center of your marriage no matter the circumstance.

Thank you for reading. I hope you learned that marriage is a huge commitment, but if done correctly, a beginning to a beautiful forever.

-Madam Koverage